For all the strangers fighting the dark days. Trust me you’ll get out of it 🙂
I am writing this blog to let you know that you are not alone and that you are understood. Your feelings are understood. No matter how difficult life feels and how dark it sometimes looks, there is still hope and there is still light, and you are still cared for. The universe cares about you. Your loved ones care about you. I care about you.💛
Mental Health Awareness During this Global Pandemic Covid19 have raised, people are now at least talking about Mental Health and trying to be mindful of it.
I understand that sometimes things are hard.
The good news here is that you are raising this question that something is not right within you, this is already halfway there towards healing.
The fact that you are asking the question indicates that you are mindful enough to notice the negative state of your own mind, which is not an easy thing to do. Most people are completely absorbed in their emotions and have limited self-awareness.
High 5 bro! We have got this 😀
The First thing to do now is to take care of ourselves and just be happy. ( Don’t worry, I’ll tell you how… )
According to some psychologists, Happiness can be assessed with two simple questions.
- First, do you find meaning in your work?
- Second, do you have good relationships with those around you?
You just have to work on these 2 things and we are ready to roll :p
Everyone wants to know how to get through grief, how to heal their hurt, but here’s what they are missing…
There’s no moving past something, without moving towards it, and being in it. Let yourself be in it.
Encounter that you have anxiety, stress, or depression but don’t let yourself get drowned in that feeling. And don’t feed these words again & again, that it overpowers you.
Let’s start by knowing what’s happening within us, what are the feelings, thoughts am I experiencing?
Observe your feelings, don’t try to change it. I know sometimes your brain is too loud and your heart bangs on the ceiling with a broom, screaming, “Shut up, you’re going to ruin this for us.”
The truth is you are at war with yourself that’s why you find yourself at war with others.
However, Do not fight your negative emotions. Observe and befriend them.
When you have an unpleasant feeling, don’t grab hold of it and turn it over and over. Instead, leave it alone so it can flow. I will help you; just start.
Start with –
I want you to know that you do not need to live this way forever. You are the master of your own existence, and you have the power to turn your life around. I want you to know that the void can be filled and that although it threatens to devour you right now, it will not if you do not allow it to.
Your soul is not lost; it is hiding, inside you. Like a small scared child, it has chosen to protect itself in the deepest recesses of your psyche. It wants you to find it and return it to its rightful place.
When you practice meditation, when you are mindful and aware once again, you will reconnect with your soul.
When you wish to hear the voice of your subconscious, try meditation.
People think meditation is the practice of silencing your mind, it’s not! Rather it is to sit with your thoughts and be in the present. (Letting your thoughts flow)
Breathing exercise is so underrated. Trust me it works magic at helping in relieving stress, anxiety and helps to calm nerves before/after stressful situations.
P.S – I never believed meditation would help me in healing but trust me it is actually magic, the practice of sitting with your thoughts & imagination, for 20 minutes is bliss. Try it!! 🧘♀️👇
Breathing exercise – https://youtu.be/tybOi4hjZFQ
Guided meditation – https://youtu.be/86m4RC_ADEY
Journaling – Finding meaning in the mess!
I see you trying hard to cover up your pain, to pretend it doesn’t hurt to breathe. That, with every beat of your heart, your chest aches warmth. Together we can acknowledge your pain but affirm that there are solutions.
I will encourage you to write down all the things that are causing you pain and help you find peace.
Firstly, you must acknowledge that although the negative emotions were not caused by you, staying adrift in an ocean of pain was your choice because you were comfortable there and that you understand you can never be comfortable in your pain again.
You just need to start reconnecting with yourself, Doing what you loved as a child might help you in this, Get back on long lost hobbies, Do everything that makes you feel more you. And if you can’t find one, just copy what people who fascinate you do!
At Least now you have something to do.
Organizing your thoughts –
Sit, relax, and write your feelings & thoughts. Journaling is a way to track everyday life. For instance, Figuring out what makes you feel triggered and happy or upset.
It provides an opportunity for positive self-talk and identifying negative thoughts and behaviors.
It can help you gain control of your feelings and improve your mental health.
To get all of those thoughts and feelings out of your head and down on paper. The world seems clearer.
Start with this 👇
Write down answers to these questions!! ( This is the best collection of Journal Prompts I could find for you, I used this myself too ✌ )
Talk to someone 🙂
When things get out of our control and you see yourself struggling hard handling it, you should consider talking to someone about it, maybe your close friend, family member or someone you think might help you with the solutions.
And understand this sometimes, just letting out helps more than craving for solutions from someone. (Tried and tested!)
I have been on the other side of the light and I know how dark it can sometimes feel, experienced the hurt and low spirits, felt the pain and loneliness.
I was blessed enough to have those people around me who genuinely cared about me and told me that I am not alone when I felt like that, and I want to be that person for you.
Therefore, I have realized that most of us struggle with our mental health as we experience life’s lessons and battles, but there is always someone else who is going through something similar. It might not be the same struggle, but the pain can be very like yours. I hope that with this blog, you can see that you are not alone in your pain and that there are ways to overcome your feelings. It is okay that you can’t see them yet, but you will. I promise <3
Do you feel like venting out your feelings to someone?
Reach out to friends, to family, to anyone who will listen without judgment. Having a shoulder to cry on is invaluable.I know that you feel completely alone in this, but you aren’t.
There is no shame in seeking help from a professional counselor if you feel it is all too much. Therapists and grief counselors have spent years studying and practicing, specifically to help people who are going through what you are going through.
Here are some helpline numbers.
If You need to open up and talk to someone anonymously (No judgment and people with genuine empathy and training).
- +91 80 2572 2573 from 10 am to 2 pm Monday to Saturday or email email@example.com
- +91 8422984528/29/30 from 5-8 pm all days or email firstname.lastname@example.org
- 011-23389090 Mon-Fri 2 pm to 10 pm (Sumairi Helpline)
- +91 4066202000/2001 for help, or email email@example.com (11 am to 9 pm)
Going to therapy is COOL!
Because there’s nothing cooler than taking good care of yourself. Going to therapy gives you tools for difficult situations, Space to feel, and Personal growth opportunities.
Talk about your feelings. You are not alone. Keep going. You can overcome this. I have been where you are. I promise you, it will get better.
Here are some resources where you might find a suitable counselor –
And when you reach out, don’t expect that miracle switch to flip all of a sudden. Take it easy and be patient with yourself, bro. Take each day as another opportunity to make your way towards that light.
Conquering Sleepless nights –
I can see you having sleepless nights, fighting with your demons.
Sometimes what I do is, I sit in my room and allow my demons to have a party, giving them only an hour or so to run riot before they must head to bed. Don’t allow the party to go on into the early hours; you need your beauty sleep after all. Let them celebrate and rage and drink too much and dance too hard, but don’t let it go past your curfew. Remind your demons that you are boss. When you put your head on your pillow at night, tell those demons to turn out the lights too.
REMEMBER – You control your mind, your mind doesn’t control you!
List of things that helped me conquer the sleepless nights -:
- Try to stay off social media for at least an hour before bed.
- Read a book before sleeping. *It worked magic for me!
- Don’t have coffee in the evening or at night.
- Wear earplugs, an eye mask, and Play sleeping music.
- One of the things that specialists recommend is using your bed only for sleep. Your bed should be associated only with comfort and relaxation, and not work, Internet, or any other potentially stressful distraction.
Simple tricks to feel better instantly –
- If you can, surround yourself with close friends and share food and drink while slowly letting out the bottled-up stories of betrayal, disappointment, and hurt.
- Head to a movie theater, alone or with your friend. Pick the silliest movie, even if you normally don’t watch comedies, and laugh out loud until it hurts, and shed a few tears, as if nobody’s looking, like a carefree teenager.
- Find a song that speaks to your heart. Play it over and over, and sing along to it over and over, as though you are doing it for all the wounded souls.
- Go on long drives all by yourself. *I did this a lot*
- Give love & care to your family, friends, and the universe will instantly reciprocate. Trust me!
- Exercise, talk to your mentor, meditate.
If none of that helps, use your vacation days to take a trip. Go somewhere you’ve always said you wanted to go… All by yourself. Just you and the road.
After spending time alone, go to your own sacred place. Close your eyes and clear your mind.
However, As we begin to make the effort, the negative emotions start to lose their grip. 😎
You Don’t have to be STRONG!
Your feelings are valid!
Take time to heal your broken heart in whatever way you need to. Permit yourself to have fun.
Pain is often healed by things that soothe our souls. Allow yourself to remember the good times and understand that, eventually, those memories will no longer cause you pain. I promise you that clarity will come. It may not come quickly, but it will one day, and you will sleep again. One day, the pain in your chest will cease to be.
There is no need to be strong. There is no need to suppress your pain. You are entitled to the questions that fill your head. The whys and hows are natural. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
But please know this: it isn’t your fault. There was nothing you could have done. You have the right to ask questions and you have the right to fall apart.
There will be days when you are able to cope, and there will be days when you will not. The truth is, you will learn to become accustomed to the hole in your heart. It will never go away, but as you heal and teach yourself how to cope, it will get better. You will heal and your heart will hurt a little less.🤗
Just be kind and appreciate yourself that you are trying, rather than running away from your problems.
There’s no moving past something, without moving towards it, and being in it. Let yourself be in it.
Take care of yourself –
Even if you have lost all interest in self-care, take care of yourself. Be gentle and non-critical. I understand that you are your own biggest critic, but being critical of yourself in your time of loss will only make you feel lousier than you already do.
You have the power to change and to overcome. Convince yourself with the help of everything that is positive and good in life. Take each day as it comes; take small steps towards overpowering that negative voice in your head.
- Appreciate each and every positive thing you have in your life right now, and replace 1 negative thought with a positive one. And soon you’ll see yourself seeing more positives around you. Trust me!
- Find the courage to Do new things. Spend time with yourself so that you can see what makes you unique, what your strengths are, and where your weaknesses lie. Find something that sets your soul on fire. Then, strive to do your best and have fun doing it.
- Your health matters. You matter. Do some physical activities (Stretching, cycling, workout, running, walks ), Eat healthily.
- I know what it is like to feel disconnected from yourself, to be unsure of what sets your soul on fire. Take the time to reconnect with yourself. Meditation will help you to calm your mind, bond with your inner self, and will create self-awareness.
Trust me Your soul is not lost; it is hiding, inside you. You are capable of rebuilding your identity and giving it a completely new form that is also true to who you are.
I know that, right now, it feels like you will be lost forever, but I hold the torch that will guide you. I will continually remind you that your failure does not mean the end, but rather the beginning of something beautiful.🌼
Finding Hope –
Fear consumes you. Fear of rejection, failure, of being lonely forever. You are scared, depressed, and anxious. You feel that you are stuck in the same situation.
I have been there, experienced the hopelessness during this Quarantine way too much.
I know that if you have no hope, you will stop believing in yourself, and this means that you will not find the courage to hope again. To change your internal dialogue.
Let me help you change your dialogue with yourself.
- First, remember all the qualities that make you unique.
- Write your goals and begin working towards realizing our dreams.
- Look for role models who have found solutions. Reading their stories and surrounding yourself with supportive messages and people can help you build hope.
- Perform Small acts of kindness that you do repeatedly can help you feel more connected and have a greater sense of contribution. Kindness triggers the release of serotonin, so it has an antidepressant effect. It also calms stress and helps reduce pain.
By complaining that something we have to do is too hard, we add another layer of difficulty. Take a deep breath, and then just do it.
Write down on a sheet of paper –
- the names of the places you want to travel to before you die,
- the people you hope to meet,
- the concerts you know you will enjoy,
- the sports games you are dying to see,
- the restaurants you have to try.
Then experience everything on the list, item by item. Nobody needs to know about the list. Allow yourself a little secret of your own. It will feel good to do something just for yourself.
Dream big but start small.
A small adjustment can have a big effect on your life.
- For example, if you want to be healthier, then start by going to bed a half-hour earlier.
- If you want to lose weight, then start by drinking water instead of soda.
- If you have an important project to complete, then start by getting your desk organized.
Patience BRO Patience –
Healing is not a race, but a long voyage that you must embark on. There will be lots of ups and downs in the process, some days you’ll feel you are healing and some days you will feel miserable again. But be patient with yourself, try to calm yourself a little more on anxious/depressed days, and be grateful for happy days.
I have seen you battling your impatience and getting frustrated when life throws you one curveball after another.
I know what that fight feels like. Quarantine gave me my space and time to heal slowly and peacefully.
The love of others will help you to find love for yourself. Give and receive love as much as you can, and you will find the inner strength to master patience.
I know you have got this too. Keep going.
READ SELF HELP BOOKS –
Self-help books are a gateway to the real world but also give you unconventional solutions to your personal and professional problems. There has been a book corresponding to all your problems. You just need to pick the right one from the shelf. Trust me on that!!
I wrote a blog on how self-help books helped me overcome the darkest days to my life during Lockdown Covid19. You can read it here👇
Some of my favorite books –
I am proud of you. Proud that you’ve taken the steps to recover because I know how exhausting recovery can be. I know that the moments which brought you here were the hardest moments of your life and that it took every ounce of strength to fight the urge to stay comfortable.
Remember: while giving yourself a second chance, you need to ask others to do the same. Do not get sucked back into the negative void that you have just come out of. I do not want you questioning the reasons behind your recovery; I want you to continue to see yourself differently. As a strong, confident person who deserves this second chance.💖
I hope this blog can help you to work on healing yourself or even to ask for the support you need. It is out there, I promise. Don’t give up.
Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. I hope it helped you to look beyond your struggles and begin working on your recovery. You will find your strength; just take it one day at a time. I am so thankful for this opportunity to share my thoughts and feelings with you.
Act on the advice I have given. Start a journal to allow yourself the time to reflect.
Write down your thoughts and feelings; give yourself the opportunity to digest and organize them. Draw up a plan of attack and track your progress. Make sure you take care of yourself.
Take each day as it comes. Take each day as another opportunity to grow and learn and hope and love.
I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has helped you during your journey.
Firstly my Family, for always loving me unconditionally and being so supportive. I owe you everything.
& to those friends who didn’t run away when I fucked up things really bad, thanks for understanding me and letting me actually feel that I am not alone. Words can’t describe how much you guys mean to me. I love you. You know who you’re!!
Forever grateful to the universe.
In conclusion, This blog is a collection of everything I read and learn from all the books I read about healing and self-development. Such as Dear stranger I know how you feel, Things you see when you slow down, atomic habits, Sparks of Phoenix, and from personal experience. I hope this blog helps 🙂